From Diapers to Diapers (the old people kind)

It’s been two months since we left home and I miss it terribly. Our travels, of both physical and spiritual, have been incredible to say the least. It’s been like living inside the novel Nadja, by Andre Breton, you don’t quite understand the organization, but in the end everything makes sense. It was like our journey; it seemed strange and incoherent, but in the end I get it. We became better sisters, better friends, and better Christians. You believed again and I learned to understand.

When we left you I began to “miss both the land and the person” I had become there. I didn’t think leaving Georgia would bring me closer to God or you. In fact, to my ultimate surprise, it did both. Funny, l thought that leaving the Bible belt for the land of sin itself (figuratively speaking), Miami, would only tear down what we had been building. Crazy though, Miami made things even better.

We learned how to trust each other, to be honest and caring, but most importantly we learned how to be children again. I realized that life itself is one big crazy adventure, one that we need each other for. It’s like that song from The Parent Trap: Let’s stick together,yeah yeah yeah. I mean it makes sense; sisters taking on the world!

What couldn’t we conquer?

We had overcome our jealousy, so why not overcome our insecurities or overcome our misguided irritations at mom or life itself? I mean we’ve got God and each other, so what else do we really need?

So, whadya say sis, do I have a friend in you?

☆☆ Starry Night ☆☆

As I was lying on the soft, silky sand my mind began pacing through thoughts of being. I began dwelling on those typical life questions about life and God and existence.

“A rhizome has no beginning or end; it is always in the middle, between things, interbeing, intermezzo.”

           - Deleuze and Guattari (A Thousand Plateaus: “Introduction: Rhizome”

Well, God has no beginning or end…would that make Him a rhizome? Structurally, I suppose it could be seen that way, but factually (in my spirit) I know He is beyond a rhizome. In Genesis 1:1 it says that “God created the heavens and the earth.” And thus, He created the rhizome.

Going along with Deleuze and Guattari, I must then be a tree, from Georgia, one that has a “segmented higher unity.”

God is my rhizome. He is forever and I am impermanent.

As I pondered this, I began envisaging my imminent demise…it was bound to happen, so why ignore it? I suppose the idea that impermanence and mystery of the stepin front of the one we just took keeps us in constant flux. And this mystery called life definitely kept me wandering in wonder.

I exhaled one of those exhausting and understandable ssssssssighs of polite resignation to that fact that there was no way I could ever answer these questions. I gave them to God and closed my eyes to a starry slumber.

♩ ♪ ♫ A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes ♫ ♪ ♩

“Just as the ocean looks as if it could go on forever, so does my imagination-the possibilities are endless.”

Looking out from Miami Beach, the ocean was so ominous and peaceful. It beckoned me; it was as if the ocean had transcended its concrete role. It was no longer this giant body of ~water~ it had become my Wonderland. I was swimming with mermaids, talking with fish, making real castles from the sand. My imagination had no limitations; I could just be and do whatever I desired. The earth had no hold over me. All that mattered was here, now, and my imagination. 

I felt like Nadja.  I wasn't bound to the concrete logical things of the earth; my mind was residing in a surreal other universe: my imagination.

We were riding a magic carpet, being rescued my princes, and fighting dragons. For the first time in years she and I were able to just let go and be kids again. Be sisters again. We grabbed our hotel sheets and pretended they were gowns. As she smeared red lipstick on her lips and as I made a tiara out of paper, we looked at each other. In her eyes there was wonder and magic and the belief that anything was possible. For the first time in years she had freed herself and gave away to her dreams. She let herself believe that she was a princess. Together, we broke down the w-a-l-l that had separated us for years: adulthood. As we let go of our inhibitions and fears we became children who believed again. 

It was like riding a magic carpet.

The way her eyes gleamed. The way my heart felt. As we spread out our arms in regal flight, we floated and drifted away into Wonderland as sisters again.

It was magical.

Toto...We're In Miami

We climbed down the trees, resigning to the fact the heaven couldn't be reached via branches.

"Let's go on a crazy adventure!" Great, here we go again with the talk. She constantly nagged me that we needed to see the world before we started our lives. "It will be a last hoorah before we inevitably go our s-e-p-a-r-a-t-e ways." She got me. Every time. I hated the talk of us being apart. The sadness of her lies is what made me give in...we were going.

Light. Good Lord light everywhere. It had paralyzed my vision and overtaken all of my senses. I couldn't move, think, or breathe. As my eyes adjusted and sweat began rollinggg off me like rain, I said to her (in the best imitating voice I could manage):

We...were in...Miami. If Georgia was heaven, did that make this h e l l? It felt like a sinfully sweet paradise.  

We stopped at a little Cuban Cafe to get some cafecito con tostado. We sipped our drinks. She was perusing pamphlets of local attractions as I soaked up this place. 

Music filled the air with a sort of rich history that made "the young and the old swing their hips and mouth the words." Miami had so many unexplored corners that seemed to be inviting, yet strange...

Suddenly my sense of belonging was questioned. The awareness that this place was not home, yet it felt so warmly different and inviting was unnerving for me. She liked it. She practically threw herself into it; I tried. One bite couldn't hurt...right?

Miami...what a sinfully delicious paradise indeed.

Georgia

I'd been here before. I knew I had, but I couldn't quite grasp the memory. The thought bothered me for a few moments and like an ant I would soon flick it away. The beauty of this place, this scene, soon distracted the wheels of my brain from turning. I was frozen, trying to breath it all in, putting it to a new memory.

I only knew we were in Georgia, because she'd told me so; that and the state sign were a dead give away. Georgia was never really much on my mind, and quite honestly it still wasn't, now. The T
                                                                         R
                                                                         E
                                                                         E
                                                                         S

They were on my mind. 

The way they fluttered in the light breeze; it was as if they were wooing me into their open arms. I was suddenly lost in lust over the beauty of this place. I wanted to stay here, in this moment, forever. I wanted to be one of those  t  a  l  l   trees.


"Come on! Let's climb it!" she quickly convinced me. I had always envied their height and closeness to heaven. They could reach out their branches and graze God's hand. Maybe I could        c     there too?
                                                                                                                             l
                                                                                                                           i
                                                                                                                       m
                                                                                                                    b 

Well, Georgia, now you'll always be on my mind.